Online dating advice women over 30
Here are some truths you need to know if you're about to head out into the dating pond in your late 30s. These are the bachelors that hit late-30s and into mid-40s and suddenly realized, "Oh snap! And now that I am all grown up, I think it's time I settled down.
I think I will pick a nice 25-year-old." Even though you're their age or even quite younger than them by years, you're still old to them. The right one won't care that you're not in your 20s, absolutely, and you're not old, but yet there are guys who will completely shut you down, especially online, if you're a year over his age range. A lot of the allure of the young woman comes with an assumption of fertility.
I wanted to start the next (possibly painful) adventure in the little journey of my life I like to call “my current reality.” As much as I didn’t want to go there again (or, let’s be honest, to don something other than yoga pants), it was time. There is a difference between a compromise and settling, a one. This means that if your messaging pattern goes from phone blowing up to you staring at it, nonstop, checking to make sure it’s working, you are pretty much done there, sweetheart.
Having spent a good year getting reacquainted with myself and my charming set of idiosyncrasies, I recognized the occasion calling for me to stop avoiding male attention and to start practicing the art of social bullshitting again. If it comes let it come, if it stays let it stay, if it goes, well, let it go. If he responds intermittently to you, then yeah, you’re not the only girl in his contact list. Taken from the mouths of our wise elders, “Don’t make someone a priority who treats you like an option.” Seriously.
The lesson to all of you younger readers: take your love life seriously when you turn 30, instead of waiting until you’re 35 or 40. I do know when I was in my early 30’s, anyone in their 40’s seemed old to me! It’s been my experience that I seem to get alot of emails from the 50 and over crowd.
Just as you respond to things based on what’s going on in your life and in your head, so do other people. Additionally, credentials are just paper—a job, a degree, or a “pedigree,” so to speak, is only one small part of a person, it is not they are. Unless you: a) have endless time on your hands, b) like spending it running in circuitous motion, or, more likely, c) enjoy learning lessons the hard way, listen to your intuition. If something tells you it’s not right, it’s probably not.One, that younger women are no longer interested in dating men who are even just slightly (3-5 years) older than them and sometimes want to date men 5-10 years younger then them. Alas, the women with whom he wants to get serious are 27-34.Two, women seem to be content in the fact that they are independent and self-sufficient and have a career, family and friends that fulfills them and don’t seem to be interested in truly finding a relationship. This gives men time to court, fall in love, travel together, move in, get engaged, and enjoy a few years of childless marriage before starting a family. This shouldn’t be difficult, it should be easy to be the best version of yourself around people with whom you spend time. There is a time and place for viewing the skeletons in your closet and unpacking your baggage. Your past has shaped who you are, it has shifted your paradigm and your perspective, but it is neither your present nor your future. If you feel compelled to present yourself as something other than who you truly are, to have interests that you don’t really have, to know things you don’t really know then you are in trouble, my dear. Be willing to grow and learn and try new things—but label them clearly as such. Don’t spend your time trying to make something work that you know isn’t going to; things that are meant to be aren’t usually that complicated (well, unless you make them that way, in which case, please re-read #2).