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“I quickly came to realize, everybody was in their own world.

Nobody was judging, looking at you funny -- it was just a group of open-minded, adventurous, free-spirited, and fun people expressing themselves in the best way possible.

In addition to its incredibly relaxed venue, Chemistry’s greatest appeal is the fact that it’s completely judgment-free, no matter if you’re squeezed into your most revealing lace or something a little less porous.

(The organizers urge attendees to shy away from jeans and sneakers and to embrace the theme du jour, whether it’s Leather & Lace, or a Naughty & Nice Christmas, but you certainly will not be turned away if you don’t.) Members tend to be anywhere from their mid-20s to early 40s, and the vibe is all about casual conversation, laughter, and comfort, all interspersed with mood-setting entertainment like fire dancers, burlesque, or acrobatics.

It makes sense -- taking our clothes off and having sex is usually reserved for private encounters with someone we care about (or at least someone whose body we care about for that particular evening).

But the more I’ve been to sex parties, the more I’ve come to understand about New York’s ever-evolving relationship with sex (and my own). The monthly events are hosted in a large space in Williamsburg, but every now and then there are smaller, more intimate VIP events, held in a space in Clinton Hill, like a Halloween-themed party for select, regular members.

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“After 30-something years and asking many girls throughout my life if they’d be open to it, I finally got the opportunity to go to one of Chemistry’s parties. The first time I entered the ‘playroom’ I was amazed.

It was like looking at every porn site but live, in person, in one room.

People of all shapes, sizes, colors, preferences, and moaning volume.” Another member, a first-timer at the most recent party I went to, told me she was amazed by how instantly at ease she felt.

To become a member at Chemistry, you’re required to answer a few questions about your outlook on sex and sexuality via a questionnaire that can be found on the website (these include, “What is your philosophy on sex? ”, and “What is your favorite nonsexual hobby, past or present? There are fees per party that range based on who you are (i.e., a single woman, a couple, a regular).

Chemistry member female tickets range from -60, and member couple tickets range from 0-200 (single men are only allowed if they are regulars and the organizers know them).

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